Carla Fandango, Author at Never Mind The Bedsocks

Bemusing Ourselves To Death: ‘Schofield in “Bloke off TV More Newsworthy Than War and Government Corruption” Shocker!’

Yes, it’s the non-news story that hogged the headlines at the beginning of June for THREE WHOLE F***ING DAYS!

A Brexit Bus parody of The Jags’ song: “Written on the Back of My Hand”

For Leave voters the iconic Brexit bus became a symbol of rebellion as the EU was cast in the role of ‘go-to scapegoat’ for all manner of societal problems.

Menopause Song - Ban The Duvet - Panic - The Smiths

Menopause Song – A Bizarre Parody of ‘Panic’ by The Smiths

Menopause Song – A Bizarre Parody of ‘Panic’ by The Smiths Back in 1986, when I was throwing myself around

What is Generation X?

What is Generation X? What’s the Gen X age range? Am I Gen X? Well, if you were born between 1964 – 1980, then yes, you are. Welcome aboard!

Globular – an impossible balancing act? Flat Earth believers seem to think so.

Are Flat Earth believers’ ideas gaining traction in spite of or because of our fast-paced, universally connected digital age?

151 Affordable Funny Gifts For Older Men: The Ultimate List

* Never Mind The Bedsocks is reader supported, and some products on this list may earn us a small commission,

7 Irritating Idioms That Drive Me Insane

Nothing drives me up the wall more than an inane, overused idiom. In fact, I’d go so far as to

13 Unique Tips For Navigating The Aging Process After 50

“Not another blog post offering a bunch of inane so-called ‘tips’ about the aging process?” So goes the rhetorical cry of millions of soon-to-be seniors, fed up to the back implants with such drivel.

Here you will find no such trivia dressed up as actual helpful advice. No, you will simply find trivia for trivia’s sake. Let’s be totally upfront and transparent here – the following tips can’t and won’t help you at all.

Need a Holiday? Better Get Ready To Doff That Cap.

When megalomaniac managers start asserting their influence in your personal life as well as your work life, we have a problem. Unfortunately, we still seem to be stuck with a work culture where employees are obliged to doff their caps to their employers. It’s partly about the language we use. Having to go cap in hand to “request” time off from work ensures employees know that they are still the underdogs.

8 Stupid Things We Did In Our Teens

8 Stupid Things We Did In Our Teens The “Stupid Things We Did” Series: Part 1 Cast your mind back

All Hail Covid’s Holy Trinity

Celebrity scientists abound in the Covid era – especially in the UK. These three are at the top of the

Overwhelmed Coffin Maker Discovers Wasting Time is The Key To Productivity.

According to Neil, “Googlism is simply the belief that Google is the closest thing to a God our species has ever directly experienced.” Whenever anybody challenges this belief, Neil encourages them to look at the number of words written by the bloke in the sky, compared with the amount of information made freely available through the worldwide web by the Almighty G.

Morbid Curiosity For The Win

Does intellectual overthinking inevitably lead to morbid fascination and depression?

Warning For The 21st Century

Ever since my 20s, I’ve been a huge fan of Jenny Joseph’s poem, “Warning” – the one that goes, “when I am an old woman I shall wear purple.”

Now that I am actually an old lady (well, my 21-year-old self would have thought 53 old, anyway!). I’ve realised the ideas in the poem are just a tad outdated.

Are You Over 50? Here are 20 Humiliating Injuries & Common Medical Conditions Heading Your Way Soon.

If you are on the wrong side of 50, you should pour yourself a stiff brandy, sink into your favourite comfy armchair, and pay attention to these increasingly humiliating micro-injuries and common health conditions you will now begin to experience.

Chaotic Reflections From Woman on the Edge of a Hot Stone Massage Table

What does she think of my menopausal flab? Everything is so saggy. Nobody ever sees these parts of my body unclothed, let alone touches them.Having experienced a couple of these in the past, I have high expectations. It’s definitely my favourite type of massage, and for good reason.

If you’ve never tried one, I can only liken it to being enveloped in a warm, luxurious, marshmallow blanket; a sort of womb-like cocoon.